“Good morning, how can I help you today?”
“we have recently had our first parents evening with my sons nursery and they have concerns.
Our son seems to be struggling in school and the school think that he may well have Autism.”
“I see that you have been down to the surgery on a number of occasions to discuss this matter and as previously explained your son is to young to be referred, a lot of children his age act out and just need to be shown how to behave.
Here are some leaflets with some parenting courses.”
With tears rolling down my face and a screaming little boy running through the doctors, I walk out not knowing what else to do.
I calm myself down and proceed to calm my son down.
“come on monkey it is time for nursery.”
No response just a scream. We start walking towards his nursery and he shoots off into the direction of home. By this time I can see why this upset is happening. He does not understand why we are not going to nursery from home.
You see this little boy has always left from home to walk to nursery and this change in routine has confused him. He doesn’t understand why we are not leaving for nursery from home….
“Listen do you want to go home first?”
“yes mummy, home then nursery. “
2pm little man is safely in nursery and my phone rings. I look at the screen and I panic!!!!
I pick up the phone, listen to what they have to say and then pass the phone to my husband as I break down…..
They have just had to restrain our little boy….. He had ran off onto the main school playing field and would come back.
The teachers intervened and the volcano erupted. He had kicked, screamed head-butted staff and tried to harm him self….
It was time for mummy to take control and make some one listen, letters from teachers were written and a statement from mum were written. Again with another appointment made at the doctors, off I went with my ammunition, it was time to make a stand for our boy and I would not be leaving the surgery until they listened and agreed to a referral.
The letter we had been waiting for had just been pushed through the letter box. Looking at each other we knew what this meant, our son had now been placed on a waiting list to see the mental health team.
Our little boy is now 4, still not been seen by the mental health team and we are all struggling even more than what we thought we would.
We have now established that toileting was going to be extremely difficult. Endless fights not only with the medical team but also at home.
The behaviours were getting worse…… The physical aggression from a 4 year old boy was getting out of hand people and children as well as him self were getting hurt!!
His physical health was being affected, his bowel has become enlarged due to not understanding the feeling when he needs to go to the toilet. High fiber diet they said, make sure he eats a high fiber diet…
Ever tried to get a child that cant cope with the way things feel to eat what they are told!! Food was thrown plates broken and numerous trips to A and E after people getting injured.
Lets take the kids to Portsmouth, it will be great making family memories. He loves tanks and anything to do with the army…
“Mummy where is daddy going?”
“Just taking your little sister to the toilet”
“OK, can I stay here with you? I like the bridge”
“of course we can honey”
Within seconds he was gone. My heart is in my mouth. All I can see is his minion backpack on top of the river!!! His body was submerged under the water and he can not swim.
Without thinking I grab the straps on his backpack and pull as hard as I could hoping it was still attached to him while people walk past and stare in shock….. Not one person helped!!
He’s out of the river and now in the war museum toilet without a stitch on…
“Why is your son naked in the women’s toilet?”
“he jumped into the river out side”
Her response was mortifying,
“well you’re a very stupid boy, what ever made you do that. Maybe your mum needs to go on a parenting class”
I flip voices were raised to put it politely…
we get home and the pressure explodes and daddy finally admits he didn’t want to except that there is something wrong with his son…………………….
The mental team where called to discuss what had been happening. I tell them what happened at the war museum, about the physical outbursts towards mummy, daddy, little sister and school.
It was a bitter pill to swallow but is needed to be said, our son was a danger to him self and others around him with a stroke of luck they got him an emergency appointment to be seen.
The day has come our warrior is now 5 and he has finally got his appointment to be evaluated.
They done what they needed to do with our little fighter and then asked me if I would like to add any additional information..
My hand shaking like a leaf I passed them the letter from the school.
” This little boy is a concern both to his parents and at school. He exhibits certain behaviors which could point to him having issues around social communication. The family have engaged in signs of safety meetings following a referral to help for families which was initiated by the parents following an incident where he had placed him self in danger. He seems to have limited use of common sense and lacks a sense of danger around his personal safety. He had jumped in the river before when out with his parents, run away from them and has thrown things across the classroom in anger (including scissors), having no apparent realization to the possible danger to others.
He will want a conversation to be about what he wants to talk about and will interrupt when you are clearly speaking to someone else.
He has certain behaviors which will reoccur, such as things based around the number five (because he is 5), sometimes not wanting to answer maths questions if that number is not the answer, or answer and he hates to be last. He does not cope well with failure and will become very angry.
He struggles with his emotions and will become very angry very quickly, becoming verbally and physically abusive towards his parents and staff. He will kick furniture, push children and lash out at objects nearby, scream very loudly and throw things in his anger. He will kick and punch if he is angry and run at someone, he appears to be sensitive to sound, not enjoying the studio because of its echo. He will sometimes put his hands over his ears, disliking loud noises.
He will often not want to eat his school dinner and he will often wet and soil him self during the day”
We got the diagnosis of autism but this was only the beginning……………………………….